Archive for March, 2008
March 31, 2008 at 9:50 pm · Filed under ,
My fabulous friend Amani has been having a bit of a tough time lately. We were having tea and chatting when she mentioned wishing she had a little cheerleader to keep in her pocket, something to remind her that she has people backing her up. I was inspired. The crafty part of my brain clicked on — that insane and constantly overcommitted part that loves starting new projects, especially quick ones that I’ve never tried before, no matter how many unfinished projects are hiding around the apartment.
Now I suspect that I’m not alone in harboring some lingering bitterness towards cheerleaders based on a combination of fact, stereotype, and painful junior high experience. Cheerleaders have an unfortunate and often deserved reputation for being conformist, elitist, superficial, and mean to nerdy kids. Fortunately, a friend of mine in Virginia moved to Chicago a some years back, joined a radical cheerleading group, and completely changed my views. Like rollerderby, cheerleading can be reclaimed and reinvented. It really just comes down to enthusiasm, and what’s wrong with that?
We could use a little more enthusiasm in our irony-drenched culture, and we all cheer for our friends. So what could be a nicer gift for a friend in need of encouragement than a pocket-sized cheerleader? Here’s the one I made. Wanna make one too? Then leave a comment. If there’s interest, I have my pattern for the body and outfit. I could easily be persuaded to put together a little tutorial. I just don’t have time to do it if it’s not going to be used.
Of course it’s not that complicated. You don’t really need a tutorial. So if you go off on your own and make one, please let me know. Or better yet, put a picture up on flickr and tag it “pocketcheerleader.” Let’s start a crafty craze. It could be like the totally awesome sympathy dolls, only less emo.
March 20, 2008 at 10:51 pm · Filed under ,
(photos by .ariel)
Three years ago on the spring equinox, Ben and I had a big fabulous commitment ceremony. Surrounded by friends and family we made promises to spend a lifetime together. It was a wonderful perfect day.
Before the ceremony, we spent a lot of time explaining our reasons for not getting legally married. Since then thousands have people have read about our decision via our friend Ariel’s Offbeat Bride book and website.
Thus, many people may be surprised to hear that today in the downtown Seattle Municipal Court, Ben and I stood in front of a judge and became husband and wife. Although it was a joyful occasion, it was not an easy decision. We still feel strongly that the institution of marriage is not what we wish it was. Ultimately we decided that marrying one another is, for us, the right thing to do for the baby we’re expecting in about five months.
Marriage is the most direct way to ensure that we share full custody of our child and we both have total authority to make legal and medical decisions on his or her behalf. Marriage ensures that I can continue to freelance and stay on Ben’s insurance, along with the baby, wherever he ends up working in the future. Marriage ensures that if something terrible happened to me, Ben would have unquestioned legal rights to our child. Marriage will also help us at tax time and making smart fiscal decisions seems all the more important now that the expenses of raising a child are close upon us.
We resent the fact that homophobia continues to prevent these basic rights from being available to all families in this country, but at the end of the day we simply can’t risk allowing our personal beliefs or politics to have detrimental effects on our baby — at least not when we can choose otherwise. We are consciously taking advantage of our privilege as a woman and a man. We can only hope that the institution of marriage will continue to evolve and that perhaps we can help that process along by continuing to challenge homophobia, gender role assumptions, religious persecution, and other forms of oppression in our relationship and in our lives.
We want to be clear that we don’t feel any more committed to each other now than we did before we were married. We were in it for life three years ago, and we will continue to celebrate our commitment ceremony as our anniversary. Nevertheless, making sacred promises to one another once again was a beautiful experience, and we want to shout out a big thank you to Ariel and Saundrah for being our lovely witnesses. In fact, thanks to everyone who has supported us for the past three amazing years! We know how lucky we are, and we love you all.
March 5, 2008 at 10:45 pm · Filed under
You know how when there’s one big thing you can’t say, it’s hard to say anything else? That’s been me and this blog for almost three months now, ever since I found out I was pregnant. Yup, if all goes well, I’m gonna be a mom somewhere roundabout September 6.
Today we finally heard baby’s heartbeat. S/he was shy for a while and making us kind of nervous, but everything seems to be going just fine. That little thump-thump-thump was by far the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life. I pretty much feel like the luckiest person on the planet right now.
If my rhapsodizing is making you nervous, be assured that ballsy will not become a babyblog. If I start feeling compelled to share every little detail of pregnancy and mommyhood, I’ll create a new separate space for that. But at least now I’m not sitting on the most important thing in my headspace, so perhaps I’ll get back to posting more than once a month. :)
